just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
