her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
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morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
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She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."