She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????