the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.