i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize