Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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