Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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