did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So much Jack, so little girl.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
