the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
don't judge my taste in strippers
Randomize
