were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
