i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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