after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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