That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
