HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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