i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
