thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
