i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."