Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed