I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
