I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
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