Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
