Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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