im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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