Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
