I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
