you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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