Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize