I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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