Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
