I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
