she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
