Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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