My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
