I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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