How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Everything about him screamed your future.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
