Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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