You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
