I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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