your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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