The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
