Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
