yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
