i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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