he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
