Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
