In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
