party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
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If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
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tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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