I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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