that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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