Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
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