So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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