why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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