You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
