Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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