Barsexuality is the new black.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it was like eating out sand paper
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
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