Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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