Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
