Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
