you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
