he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
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