Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
