I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
