Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
